If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20)
Have you ever met someone, then later one of their siblings, and wondered if they grew up in the same home? That happens to my youngest brother and me all the time. He and I have a lot in common - similar interests, values and world outlook - and we share the same faith.
Our brother, on the other hand, marches to a very different drummer. Over the years, we’ve had our difficulties and our relationship hasn’t always been an easy one. At times, neither of us liked the other very much. And to be honest, sometimes loving each other has been a struggle.
But love him, I must. I am a Christian and God makes it clear that I am called to love him - whether I feel like it or not and no matter what he does or doesn’t do. And if I can’t love him, then just how much do I love God? (1 John 4:20)
Is this always easy? Of course not, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can do this. How?
Be Thankful.
It’s easy to thank God for the people in our lives who are easy to love. However, we are called to love everyone, including our enemies. (Luke 6:27) Thank God in all circumstances. He uses difficult people to change us and to draw us closer to Him. Be thankful for the opportunity to know God better.
Be Prayerful.
Patiently and persistently pray for the difficult people in your life, knowing that God hears your prayers. Place them and the situations they may have caused in God’s hands. By praying for the difficult people in your life, you acknowledge that you are not in control, but God is. Ultimately, it’s not about you; it’s all about Him. Your part is to be an intercessor. Matthew 5:44 says that you should pray for those who persecute you. Pray for the strength to be obedient. (Philippians 4:13)
Be Patient.
God teaches us lessons and He often uses difficult people and circumstances as learning tools. When we learn the lesson, He can heal the difficult person and move them out of our lives. When we change, our circumstances often change as well. Use this time as an opportunity to show Christlike love. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but your patience will pay off. The testing of your faith produces patience. (James 1:3)
Most difficult people don’t try to be difficult and usually don’t enjoy being difficult. Remember that old adage that says, “Hurting people, hurt people.” Many difficult people have unhealed hurts that causes them to lash out at others. The people around them then want to avoid them. As a child of God, you have the key to breaking this cycle - show them the love of Christ, pray for them and be patient.
The next time you find yourself dealing with a difficult person, take your focus off the person and the problems he or she is causing you and identify ways that you can be more Christlike when dealing with them. It’s not always easy, but, Jesus lives in you and you can do all things with His help.
Blessings,
Joyce